Homecoming

            I drove home to NY this weekend.  Let me just say that driving by yourself is two things; 1. Cool for the first 4 hours because you can do nothing but think and work out plans in your head and do whatever you want!  And 2. It SUUUUCCKKKS!  There is no one to talk to and not a whole hell of a lot to do unless you wanted to stop every hour or so and do the “tourist thing” in whatever town you were in.  But me, I powered through it and drive 9 straight hours only to stop for gas and to pee.

            I get to my hometown and pick up Reg at the Dunkin, then we head to her house where we caught up, drank a few brews, and smoked a few butts.  It was my sisters birthday weekend and my plan was to surprise her at the bowling alley that night where she would be.  But being that I don’t like surprises and I wanted to see her we had her come to Regs’ house.  Long story short, she was surprised to see me but claimed that she knew the entire time that I was home!  Right!!  Yea right!!  I got you!!  I know you’re going to read this! 

            Moving on!

            We went to the bowling alley later that night and we all sucked at bowling, but that’s no surprise, and the lady working in the bar area was a wretch.  I dubbed her Bertha.  I have never seen anyone take a pouring pitcher job so very seriously. 

            Now, being that I lived down south for a few months I haven’t talked to any of the male suitors that lived here for a few months.  But that night I get a text from Jeff that says, “Back in New York?”

            “Yeaaa buddy!”

            “Apparently I didn’t make the cut.”

            “You didn’t?  What are you speaking of?”

            “I miss you.”

            “Are you intoxicated?”

            “No, just sad I don’t get to see you.”

            “Aww!  I miss you too!  And you can see me whenever you like.”

            “How long are you home for?”

            “Forever as of now.  New job up here.”

            “Get out!  What are you doing tonight?”

            “Bowling for my sisters birthday.”

            Bla bla bla.  That was basically that conversation.  But now I am wondering why he hasn’t spoken to me in 3 months and I am now home and he ‘misses’ me and whatnot.  I mean, I know I am awesome and stuff but wtf?!  Not a peep in months and now I am getting these texts everyday and he wants to hang out every day?  I mean, I am fine with it, but I am starting to think he likes me.  “Likes me,” likes me.  (Again, who wouldn’t?  Look at this!  HAHA.  Kidding).

            The next morning:

            “Hey, whatcha doing?”

            “Heyyy, jus recipe hunting.”

            “Still searching for that perfect sauce?  Look no further!  I’m right here.”

            Such a dork!!!  Suck a dork.

            “Ohhh you!  Other than my perfect man sauce, I am looking for some Turducken recipes.”

            We go on to chart for a few more minutes and he is trying to get me to go out and meet up with him.  Of course I know the whole time that I am indeed going to do this thing and he is trying to make me feel bad about it.

            “Do you even want to see me?

            “Are you reverse psychology-ing me?!”

            (I am onto people’s games.  I know the mind and how it works!  I can see right through this plastic.  And guess what?!  Before I suffocate, I am ripping it the fuck down!  Try to reverse psychology me!  I think not!)

            “No, I am not.  I guess I was just curious if you missed me too.”

            “Maybe a little…”

            (See, I’m good at this shit… don’t hate the player, hate the game!  BAM).

            The rest of the conversation is a little boring.  But lets just say this; I did go down there and I did have sex for the first time in months and woot!  The blog is no longer going to be about my pathetic sex life and the lack there of, and random shit.  I think I might incorporate some sex right in there!!