Me-
“I think **** is a good looking guy. I mean I wouldn’t mind seeing him naked.”
Mex-
“You are barking up the wrong tree.”
Me-
“Um. Excuse me?”
Mex-
“You’re too loud and outgoing, and stuff.
He is quiet. Too quiet for
you!”
Me-
“Amazing. Thanks for the vote of
confidence.”
So
here it is. The guys don’t think
that the No Name Guy would ever want to get with me because he is too shy
around girls. Whatever. Some bull shit reasons and such. So as we were sitting around the table
watching the Rangers win, they were making bets on me and how long it would
take me to have sex with him.
Being
that I am a gracious and fun person, I took that as a challenge and accepted
it. I have now until the end of
the summer to get this guy into bed.
I mean, honestly, I think it’s hysterical that this is even a
conversation. I kind of feel bad
about it too. I have never in my
life been solicited for sex. I
don’t think I would even call it solicitation, but I would call it
strange. Lets be honest, I thought
he was hot even before the bet was placed. This is why I am conflicted.
Lets
think about this… My friends give
me a summer to have sex with someone.
And if it happens I get $20.
I think every time it happens I should get money, that’s only fair. I mean I would even be up to splitting
the money with him if he wants! But
here in lies the problem; I cant have sex with him and then have him finding
out about my bet with the boys, what would that make me look like? Other than a big slut? He would never want to talk to me
again. If roles were reversed I
would be infuriated if someone placed a bet on me like that.
What
should I do? Tell him about the
bet and see if he wants $10, or don’t take the money once it happens (because
its going to happen). I don’t know
if you guys know this or not, but typically, I get what I want. (It’s just a matter of keeping it
that’s the problem).
I
am talking with my friend Donny outside on the porch and we were discussing a
game plan, a strategy if you will, as to how I am actually going to win this
‘bet’. He tell me he is going to
plant a seed, namely because he wants to see Mex lose money. But he said I have the “pussy
power.” I understand this logic,
and for the most part he is correct.
Girls usually can say to a guy, ‘hey, want to go home with me?’ and they
will 98% of the time say ‘yes, yes I do.’
98%
is a direct estimation according to Donny by the way. “It depends on the girl,” he says. I have classy friends!
Oh,
they also want to make a pool.
Like a Superbowl pool on the exact date it will happen. I was laughing so hard at this last
night, but now, thinking about it today, that’s fucked up! Funny, but still fucked up! I am going to throw them all for a
loop. I think I am going to forego
the $20 and have sex with him the day after Labor Day. This way I will have done whatever I
wanted for the whole summer, and then make them pay for being callous about my
sex life.
Either
that or have everyone throw money into this pool and I collect if no one
wins. I have to spin that so it
makes sense to them, where I get all the money and they get nothing for being
jerks!
However,
I am, and have already, accepted the challenge.
(Tapping
finger tips together) Now all I
need is a game plan.
Muahahaha.
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