The New Object of my Affection

            Isn’t it funny how when you meet someone for the first time you see them, you don’t know if they see you, and you are instantly attracted to the person?  Well, that was how I felt when I met this guy that plays ball with me on the weekends.  Crazy thing is, I don’t think he even knows I exist.  But, lets be honest, this isn’t the first time for that right?!  I am good at being anonymous to those of the opposite sex.  It’s a talent, a knack really.

            Lets play catch up. 

            This past weekend was Cinco de Mayo.  I went out with the boys, Guy #1 included.  And he was just being a big dick head.  Cutting right to the chase, he was talking about some “fat chick” he banged.  Actually, one of the other guys mentioned it by saying, “hey, was she as big as that one?”  To which he responded, “not THAT big.”  I don't appreciate the fat joke part at all.  That's just cruel.

            First of all, if it wasn’t recent, why talk about it?  Right?  Secondly, why are we discussing this at all right in front of me?  I mean, I know, were not dating or anything, but I still don’t want to hear about your sexual exploits please.  And thanks.  Thanks for shoving it right in my face, knowing that A. I am sitting right here, and B. knowing that I like you.  Doucher.  Just a douche. 

            So, I signed up for a co-ed ball league.  I don’t know if I did it strictly to stare at sexy men in uniforms, or to play ball.  Either way, I wind up looking at this guy on my team who is beautiful.  I mean gorgeous.  I think I like staring at him more than I like talking to him. 

            I also think that I need to just stop this infatuation with Guy #1.  He was the rebound guy.  I should have known nothing was going to come of it.  It never does.  And he got my hopes up for nothing because he was definitely feeling me as much as I was feeling him.  He knows I was pissed about the “fat chick” comments so of course he lets me fester for 4 days then proceeds to call me and ask me if I was still mad at him. 

            Fuck it!  What do I have to lose anyways right?  A little dignity?  Maybe some self respect?  Please, that all went out the window once he saw me naked.  So I told him I wasn’t mad and he started acting like a fucking child.  I need this to stop.  Sooner than later would be preferable.

            But, I think I am going to start wearing makeup on the weekends to see this guy.  I need a name for him, as we are anonymous and people don’t even know MY name!... If anyone has any input on a fun name for a new guy that I havn’t talked to or slept with or kissed… yet… please, let me know!

            The girl that runs the team texted me to see if I was going to be able to come to the game this weekend.  Of course I said yes, and I told her I was only going to see the hot guy on the team.  She asked me who it was and told me she would hook it up.  I don’t want anyone to know about the new object of my affection because I know nothing is going to come of it.  I mean, nothing as in I probably will just stare at him and that’s as far as it’s going to go.  I don’t know what it is with me these days, I used to be really good at flirting and getting numbers, and you know, making a spectacle of myself.  But today I am a vagina and I don’t know how to even go about approaching him.

            Blaa… 

            I am such a fucking loser.  I actually have to sit here and write about the fact that I am a wiener and I don’t know how to do anything anymore.  That makes me a loser in the worst way!

            I am accepting all methods of flirtation and number getting via this blog.  So, please, help a sister out because she is a loser.  Thanks faithful readers!