First Night Out

            My BFF from South Carolina came up this past weekend for a visit.  It was also my Aunt’s birthday, so we decided to go out for a few drinks.  As you know, about me, I don’t typically dress up when I go out for a few reasons; 1. I like to be comfortable, 2. Why dress up for the Watering Hole?  3. Comfy.  However, this particular night I did in fact get a little bit more dressed.  With my new snakeskin heels. 

            We go downtown to bar hop a little bit and after a few hours we come across these two strapping men with UNC stuff on.  Now, from across the bar they look lovely.  So my cousin JJ goes up to them and tells them that we think they’re cute or whatever.  He comes back and tells us that we have to go over there and chat with them because now they’re looking our way.

            We go over to them and find ourselves in pleasant conversation.  Were they attractive?  Ehh.  Monets.  They order another round of drinks for themselves to which I stated, “Wow, you people are rude.”

            “Excuse me?”

            “Yes, excuse you.  We have been standing here talking to you for more than ten minutes.  Why have you not bought us a drink yet?”

            “Interesting, a girl that speaks her mind.”

            This should have been my first clue as to what I am dealing with here. 

            Rednecks. 

Seriously?!  Like they have never tried to woo someone before or something.  I felt like they needed hand holding to even comprehend the idea of flirting/wooing chicks.  Apparently things are different in the south and they think that their charm and chivalry is everything.  Time check!  This is NOT the 1800’s.  Girls like guys that buy them drinks and talk real talk.  However, if this were in fact the 1800’s we would be at war and I would be your mortal enemy being a New Yorker; a Yankee if you will.

I am going to find it very hard to believe that there is one person out there that will not be a fucking moron with a fucking stupid drawl that knows how to speak to women without having to say something like this, “yeaa..  Sooo I play for UNC.  You know, I am a Tar Heel.”  Or maybe something like this,  “Yeaa…  you know… Your kinda hot.”  Or even this, “Yo.”

These three things are unacceptable! Unacceptable! 

When is it going to change?!  Might I just ask!?

Oh, that’s right!  NEVER.  Men are still apes trying to evolve into fucking humans! 

I am disgusted right now.  I have to sign off.