Every
night down here me and my aunt sit in her screened in porch, drink wine, and
talk about everything under the sun.
Well last night we got into detail about some more personal stuff. I found it very interesting being that
the conversation went from ghosts to love life and people we have seen in the
past.
She
asked me if I had seen anyone after The Ex and I broke up. Well if this isn’t a harsh reality
check I don’t know what is. And I
also don’t know what she means by “seeing” people. Sure, I have seen a lot of people… Most of them were naked, but I guess that counts right?
“I
kind of started seeing someone very recently after Ex dumped me that fateful
day at my friends funeral.”
“Oh
yea? Do tell!”
“OK. But you can’t tell my mom. She would shit a Buick if she knew for
certain. I mean, I think she had
an idea, but she didn’t think that he would be ideal for me in that he is kind
of…. Whats a nice way to say this… a man whore.”
“HAHA. OK. Lay it on me.”
“Guy
#1. It was kind of like a roller
coaster ride that we were ejected from.
We were both out of long term relationships in which we were both hurt
pretty badly. Not to mention our
friend dying. And I personally
think he had a lot of issues to work through. Who knows how it could have ended up? We don’t even talk anymore.”
She
goes on to ask me more questions about it and I answer them to the best of my
ability. Her conclusion was this;
he is scared of commitment and my being available to him scared him even
more. She thought that he needed
to figure out his personal shit and our friend’s death, and grow up. She said if he is that old and he is
texting your friends about you, he needs to grow the fuck up.
“Right?! It’s like he is punching me on the
playground and throwing sandy gravel in my face!”
“Exactly!”
Apart
from my conversation with her about Guy #1. Guess, just take a gander, who texted me the other
night? Keep in mind I did not in
fact have his number because I deleted him from my phone/life. Guessed it! Guy #1.
“Hey
how was the move?”
“Who
is this?”
“Your
mom.”
“This
isn’t my moms number.”
Then
the next day…
“So
why do you hate me now? You knew
the deal. Crazy lady. Whatever, hope your internship goes
well.”
“Who
is this?”
“Suck
it.”
“Guy
#1?
“Suck
it.”
“Must
be Guy #1.”
No
response.
Now,
for someone who wants nothing to do with me anymore, I find it awfully funny
that he has texted me two days in a row wondering why I hate him and how my
life is! Right?! Am I crazy for this? Is this some kind of new revelation?! Typical though isn’t it? You move 600 miles away and THEN he
starts to maybe care or miss you?!
Men,
only good for one thing. Unfortunately
that thing is not sex or lovely dinner conversation… Its making chicks fucking crazy! That’s right!
If there were no men on this earth women would all be sane! All of them. Think about it… The root of all our troubles stem from
men. Who is in agreement in saying
that there should be no men on this earth!?
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