Tonight
is our friend’s birthday. Yes, I
realize it is a Wednesday, but this is how we roll around this town. Sunday Funday, Monday day of rest, Two
for Tuesday burgers and beer, Cultural Wednesdays, Seclusion Thursdays, and
Friday is a day of rest (weird right?) Saturday is usually something. Then the vicious cycle starts again.
Tonight
were going to the local cop bar that he likes to hang out in and were going to
have a few drinks then go home.
However, here is the background story… If you are in tune with the blogs and know alllll the men of
my apparent repertoire, you will be more knowledgeable than those who started
reading recently and didn’t do their homework on the past. It’s like a history book. The Native Americans were here first! You cant just skip 400 pages to
Manhattan being a powerhouse! (In
this case I guess I would be the powerhouse and the past men are the Native
Americans? Sounded good when I was
thinking it) Moving on…
Background:
Our
friend is good friends with Guy #1, Bartender, and knows a lot of cops, in
which he stated before at least 5 of them would “fight for me”, remember
that??? So here is the problem
(maybe a non problem); Guy #1 is probably going to be there, Bartender will be
there, these 5 men are going to be there.
Should I just ask Jeff and Hot Guy if they want to join? Make it an awkward little cluster
fuck!? I mean, why not right?
However,
learning from my past mistakes, I have hatches a plan if you will…
I
am going to wear this scandalous little black and white shirt I got the other day,
which exposes my back, and a pair of white Capri pants. Now, it is thundering and raining like
a son of a bitch. Do I care that
these white pants are most likely going to be see through? Nope, not a little bit. Will it most likely up my game? Probably. And why is that?
Men are stupid! They see a
girl wearing a backless shirt and white see through pants and they are down for
the count. No matter how big or
small love handles may be. Well…
Sometimes. Even SOMETIMES men have standards. Goal for the night… No standards.
Am
I a dried up well? Yes. Do I need to have sex? Who doesn’t!? Do I want to have sex tonight? YUP! Am I going
to make it a goal for myself?
Abso-fucking-lutely. Could
it very well be Guy #1? Sure! Why not! But, I will also be the mind fucker. I will absolutely not sleep anywhere
but my own bed (alone). I am going
to do the whole, ‘thanks for coming, here is a brownie, get the fuck out.’
I
like to call this idea, thinking like a man.
If
Guy #1 is there, I am going to be all over everyone else in hopes of making him
jealous. Will it work? Possibly. Will he say something to me about it? NOPE! Will I get a text message asking me ‘what’s going on’ at
3AM? Most likely. Will I try to stay awake for that
message? YES! Yes, I will.
Does
this mean I have to shave the shit out of my legs, G, and pits? Well, I did it yesterday, but a clean
clean shave is appreciated by all.
Time
to hit the showers!
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