Funny
thing was this; I never mentioned to him the fact that I had an interview so
him knowing anything about it is kind of strange. And what makes things even stranger is this; Finny told me
about an opening at her school.
She works in a private school in New Hampshire, so I decided, fuck it,
and I sent them a resume in hopes of getting the fuck out of this vortex-like
town and away from the man drama I have here. Man drama being Guy #1 STILL texting my friends, The Ex
STILL contacting me at least once a week, Jeff STILL being shady, and Hot Guy
is STILL going no where fast.
Back
to things being strange…
I
tell Guy #1 that, “how did you know about the interview? And yeaaa.. I have another job
opportunity in New Hampshire.
Fingers crossed it pans out.”
“Why
New Hampshire?”
“Why
not? There is nothing here for
me,” is my response.
He
doesn’t respond back to me. Which
is fine, and actually kind of typical.
So
now, me and Thad were getting lunch at the Watering Hole a few days later and
the bartender, who is Guy #1’s best friend asks me this, “so! Whatever happened with New Hampshire?”
“I
never told you about that. How did
you know?”
Bartender
got very nervous and he’s stuttering, “Oh, well… Guy… I don’t know,” and walks
away as fast as he can.
Which
leads me to believe that Guy #1 must have gone back to Bartender and said
something about my potentially leaving.
Which next leads me to wonder why he is concerned with my
departure? I mean, isn’t it weird
that we hardly speak anymore and he is telling people about this possible
move? I don’t understand why he
gives a shit to be honest… unless… his balls are still shriveled like pathetic
little raisins and he maybe does like me a little more than he has been letting
on. In which case is STUPID! And very SECOND GRADE!
I
was talking to one of my friends and co-workers about it and she had been
telling me for months that he is scared of commitment and he probably doesn’t
want to get hurt by another girl.
I understand that. But lets
be honest here! He knew The Ex and
me for the last year and a half.
He saw how I was as a girlfriend.
Not going to lie, I was an awesome fucking girlfriend! Which makes this even more fucking
frustrating! What is wrong with me
that no one is interested long term!?
And if they are, why are we not jumping off that bridge?!?! FUCKING LEAP! Who knows whats going to happen!
This
is the thing with guys I have come to realize; they’re all big, fat, gaping,
vaginas. All of them. If its not one thing it’s the
other. Oh! You’re scared of being in a relationship? That’s fine, don’t be a fucking douche
about it. Oh! You just stop talking to some girl
because it was going well? That’s
fine, don’t be a fucking douche.
Oh! You still contact her
friends in hopes of staying in her life, but to chill on the outskirts? That’s fine, stop being a fucking
douche! Oh! You cry about me, apparently, to your
friends but don’t have the balls to say anything to me anymore. Understandable, but you’re a fucking
douche.
I
can’t even begin to tell you how goddamn frustrating it is. Knowing that he is right down the road,
probably sitting on his couch drinking Mountain Trash, playing video games or
flipping through the country music channels and I am sitting here typing about
what a fucking douche he is! How
is this fair at all!?
Now,
here is the question: Why, if he
does have some shred of feeling for me, isn’t he doing anything about it!? Someone, please, riddle me that!
Sorry for the rant.
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