Fortunately for me I was off on Super Bowl Sunday, so Reg
decided she was having people over for the big game that no one, living in New
York, really gives a shit about.
Giants fans only watch Super Bowl when their team isn’t in it for the
commercials and the half time show.
Both of which I thought sucked donkey nuts. But that’s just a personal opinion. However, I think that the people I was
with feel the same way about it as I did.
(Aside from the horse and the Sandy Hook children singing). And Beyonce; just stop, you’re a sweaty
mongrel.
Mase
had bought a ticket to go to OPH for the game. I guess they were doing something there for X amount of
dollars where you could get food and drinks. Whatever. I was
expecting him to be beyond intoxicated.
So
come the end of the game, you know after the power outage and the bullshit, I
decide to say fuck it. I am going
to see what he’s doing after the game because I enjoy sex and I would like to
have sex after drinking 2 large Twisted Tea Donkey Dicks. So I shoot him a text…
“Hey,
whatcha doing after the Super Bowl?”
“Not
sure you? I might have to leave my
truck here.”
“Oh
no! I didn’t have plans but I am
home at the moment watching the game.”
“Not
too banged up, but it’s a bad night to drive.”
“Yes
it is.”
“If
you wanna hang out let me know.”
“I
would like to but it’s a matter of getting around.”
“I
can control my drinking.” (LOL).
“So
you are driving tonight then?”
“Sure.”
“Wanna
come over?”
“Up
to you.”
“Yea,
come if you wanna.”
“OK. I am going to have one more drink then
I will call you when I leave.”
“OK.”
About
an hour and a half later, and more tall boy Twisted Teas, and one power outage,
and buffalo chicken dip, and pulled pork sandwiches, I get another text from
him that says…
“Still
want me to come over?”
“Yes,
yes I do.”
“Should
I get anything from the gas station?”
“I
am fresh out of drinks, so get whatever you want.”
“OK. See you soon.”
So
now Reg and I are downstairs in my apartment talking and hanging out because
the other guests have left and were listening to old school music from the
90’s. It was awesome. I love old music. “Old music”. Bahaha.
Next
thing I know the door is being knocked on. It’s Mase. He
comes in with more Twisted Teas.
Ughhhh… Were all chatting
for a while and Reg decides to go upstairs and go to bed. So now it’s just me and him. We were sitting around looking up
hysterical youtube videos and telling stories and drinking… a lot. I don’t mind getting a good buzz on but
after about 7 Twisteds I am DYING to go to sleep.
We
chat for a while and I was telling him about how I wanted to get more shit from
my parents’ house for my apartment because my living room resembles the
Squatter House and I have a table 2 chairs for said table, and 3 unnecessary
bar stools currently taking up residency in my living room. Ergo I have no pictures or things on
display.
“Do
you want me to help you move things?” he asks me.
“I
would love for you to help me move things…” then I took his face in my hands and
kissed him on the lips. “Thank
you.”
Then
I went to the bathroom. Twisted’s
just run through me so I have to pee every 14 minutes. I come back out into the living room
and we chat some more.
“I’m tired… wanna go to bed?”
“Yup.”
So
I go into my room and strip all my clothes off because I have zero cares at
this point concerning hairy legs and or patchy hair due to missed spots from
attempting to shave, or nudity in general. Well, I had a tank top and underwear on, so it wasn’t quite
nudity. I am also comfortable
enough around him to be not quite nude, so it was cool.
Ready
for this one?
I
throw on a DVD…
BUFFY
THE VAMPIRE SLAYER! The fucking
original!! Love that shit! And we go to bed.
He’s
not making any moves on me and I am wondering why. I lie there for a while and contemplate my next move. What should I do? What should I do? Fuck it! I take his face and kiss him square on the mouth. I haven’t had sex in that bed in almost
3 years. (It was mine and the Ex’s
bed, but we got a new one when we moved to Brooklyn so this one was in storage
for a while). Needless to say, my
bed started out on one side of the room and wound up on another side. It also explains why my phone wasn’t
charging all night, because the charger was ripped from the wall in a frantic,
bed slamming into it, kind of way.
So anyways…
My
phone goes off in the morning and in a frenzy I shoot up and reach over him, to
grab it because I think it’s my alarm.
I am laying on him fiddling with my phone because now we have been
sleeping for maybe 4 hours. I
slide the button over thinking it’s the alarm and I am turning it off but,
alas, tis not my alarm. It’s my
boss…
"(Name) Hello! Just wondering if you would wanna come in for some over time
this morning?”
“OMG. What time?”
“Hmm…
it’s 7:30 now… sooo? 9?”
Fuck
that gives me one more hour to sleep.
“Sure.”
“You’re
awesome, thanks!”
“No
problem.”
Then
he interjects, “you should have said no.”
As
I hang up and roll back to the other side of the bed I tell him that I am greedy
and that I love money. He laughs
at me and says, “Still should have said no.”
That
morning was the ONLY time he kissed me in the morning… EVER. We lay there for another 40 minutes or
so and I have to start moving my ass.
I get up to get in the shower… I am still ass naked… and not kinda
naked. I am ass fucking naked. I don’t typically sleep naked because
it queers me out for some reason.
He doesn’t typically sleep naked either. But there we were naked as jay birds (lol).
I
get up and get in the shower and it was one of those showers where you kind of
just let the water hit your face and you’re holding yourself up with one arm on
the wall type showers. I thought I
was dying. I need to sleep
more. I get out, in my towel I
start my post-shower thing; lotion, deodorants, bla bla bla…
He
is up and trying to get his shit together. I offered to make him something to eat. I offered him snacks, water,
juice. All to which he said
no. (Thank god because I don’t DO
mornings… like… ever). Then he
gives me a hug. I am still in my
towel and my hair is wet and curling into a fucking mess down my back. Then he takes my cheeks and gives me a
kiss good bye.
Interesting…
What
think you? I find it to be a
little odd. Is it me or is my fuck
buddy enjoying my company far too much in a non-sexual way? I mean, I don’t know. Let's be serious for a second though; I
am fucking awesome. Clearly. I am hysterical. (Also obvious). And I am adorable! (Too much???) HAHAHAH. I am
laughing writing this because though I am funny, I do not find myself to be
adorable.
I
need some kind of feedback here! I
have a problem! I can always
figure out other peoples shit, but when it comes to my own shit, I cannot make
heads or tails of it! Let me know
how you feel about this because I would do it for you! THANKS!
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