Stupid Sister Playing Set Up

I am sitting here wondering what I can talk about in the coming blogs, right?  And I get a text from Rae asking me what would be the ideal questions to ask a potential future husband.  I don’t fucking know!  How would I know what to ask someone?  Clearly my methods in wrangling a man and keeping him doesn’t exactly work for me.  So when she asked me to come up with questions, of course I came up with some on my own, and I googled some of the others.  (While googling, I didn’t realize I hit a fucking Muslim site and they were more questions about religion and their god and shit.  But they did have some decent questions concerning marriage and whatnot).  I guess it’s the list of 100 that are asked while arranging a marriage for their kids. 

            So I sit here and I think of a list of questions to throw her way… Here is the list.  Verbatim. 

1.  What do you do for fun?

2.  Have you ever been married?

2a. Yes- why didn't it work out?

     No- Good

3. Do you like sports?

4. What are your thoughts on winners and losers?  (Example being this; if 2 teams of little kids are playing in a championship game, clearly there is one losing team, should both teams be awarded trophies for shit like ‘coaches awards’ or ‘most improved.’) 

Let me just add this in; if my kid comes home with a fucking coaches award or a most improved award clearly I am doing something wrong.  My children will be stellar athletes because I am, and there is no such thing as second place.  You’re either a winner or you’re a loser.  This is why children today have zero anything.  Cry babies and whiners.  Maybe if they lost once in a while they wouldn’t be such dick heads. 

5. Do you like the beach and/or traveling?

6. Smoker? Drinker?

7. Drugs?

7a.Yes- Bye bye

     No- next question

8.  What do you do for a living?  Do you like it or is it a filler job?

9.  Food- favorites… go.

10. Ideal lifestyle/home/kids

11. What are your goals? Long and short term?

12. What is your idea of marriage?

13. Whats are your thoughts on religion?

14.  How is your family relationship?

15. Who are your friends? How did you meet them and why are they your friends?

16. Do you like to entertain guests?

17. Favorite book?

17A. "I Hope they serve beer in hell"= get the fuck out of here     

      Something more appropriate= question 18

18. Do you curse?  I love to fucking curse.

19. Do you have weird younger siblings that ask you to write lists of potential questions for potential husbands?  Cause I do.  

20. How do you feel about polygamy?  Monogamy?

21. You’re not a hippy right?  I don't do hemp smelling, pot smoking, honk if you love Jesus and nature people.

22. How many more questions do you need?

23.  If I was to talk to an ex wife/girlfriend would she say good things or bad things?

24. And lastly... Are you willing to take STD tests today?

            I mean, I don’t know any better being that I am not married and I don’t plan on getting married like ever, but I thought that these were acceptable questions to ask.  Right?! 

            Then I asked her why she wanted to know these things and she answers me, “Don’t worry about it.  For future references!”

            “OMG, you little shit.  You are trying to set me up with your co-worker.”

            “Whatever.”

            Needless to say, I was right about her end game.  She is a tricky little shit. 

            I don’t know this person she is trying to hook me up with and I don’t know why she is even trying, to be honest.  I don’t like being hooked up for many reasons.  I don’t feel like naming these reasons but everyone knows being hooked up is probably going to blow up in someone’s face.  Most likely the one being introduced to the random man because that’s just the way the world turns.