Turducken

So, I have asked the cousin to come with me to our annual Turducken Feast hosted by Sav at her home.  Let me preface this in saying that every year my friends and I alllll get together and eat and drink and play games for our own Thanksgiving dinner.  Every year there is something awesome that occurs, and every year we can wait until the following Thanksgiving to do it again.  Why do we call it Turducken you ask?  Google a "Turducken" and you tell me whether or not you would want something so scrumptious and then we can talk about it.

Back to the story; I invited the cousin to come with me to this thing so I wouldn’t be the only one there without a goddamn date.  He agrees and its fine, whatever.

Going back to this past weekend:

Friday night was a good night; I hung out with my aunt and drank some wine and we chatted, as is the usual thing to do most every night.

But I was texting with the Cousin earlier in the day and he said he would give me a call later.  Now, I am not one to wait by the phone (thank god for cell phones; it makes the girls job of not waiting around that much harder! *Sarcasm* Instead of putting post its around the house that state "DONT YOU DARE CALL HIM FIRST!"  Or "STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE WITH THE CURLY CORD, LOSER!" we are now saddled with having the phone on our hips and checking for a missed call or a text every 18 seconds.  It's pathetic isn’t it!?)

Does he call that night?  No.  Was I expecting him to?  Not really, but whatever.  Instead, I get a 4:30AM phone call from him.

"Hey!"

"You realize it's 4:30 right?"

"I'm druuuuunnnkk!"

"Your an idiot.  Why are you calling me at 4:30?"

"Maybe I was thinking about you."

What do people at 4:30 REALLY think about when they’re drunk and somehow awake?  Think about that one for a second.

"I hate you right now."

"WHY!?  And why are you mad at me on Facebook?"

"I don’t know.  I got into the wine and needed something to say."

"When are you coming home?"

"I don’t know yet."

"I’m drunk."

"I know."

"I’m going to bed."

"OK.  Good night."

Short and sweet HAHA.

So the next morning I text him and ask him how he is feeling.

"I feel hung-over as shit, why do you ask?"

He doesn’t remember talking to me at all!  WTF?!  I feel very important at this moment in time.

"Um, oh, I don’t know.  Maybe the 4:30AM phone call I got from you."

"I talked to you?!  I must have been thinking about you.  How was our convo?"

"Woooow!  I feel special.  It was a short conversation"

"Oh, wait, I kind of remember now.  You told me you were mad at me"

"I told you I got into the wine"

"So you just get drunk and hate on me haha."

"Whatever bro, you get drunk and call me at 4:30"

"That’s cause I was having happy thoughts about you.  Not cause I was mad!"

"Nice cover!  You don’t even remember the conversation!"

So that was Saturday afternoon.  And that night we all went out for the UNC/Duke game to this sweet bar in Chapel Hill.  My family and some of their friends and the VERY large $4 Blue Moon Pumpkin ales were all getting along very well.  I had about 4 of those (no joke, they were probably 30oz glasses) and then switched to wine.  As if I needed to do that!  But I did cause I am awesome and apparently have a liver of steel.  (I wonder what my liver looks like in all seriousness, probably mushy and green; that’s how I picture it).

So I text him, "I am starting to drink.  Expect texts later."

"I have been drinking for hours!"

"Are you telling me that were going to have 4am phone calls?"

"I don’t know if I am going to last that long!"

"Guys should never say that to girls... just saying"

"HAHA I have no shame."

"I already knew that haha!"

I proceed to get drunk.  Not to the point that I don’t know my own name.  But to the point of no return and I talk a lot.  Wine makes me talk.  Which is not necessarily good.  But whatever.  So I get home with my aunt and continue the party.  We sit on the porch and open another bottle and proceed to drink until 2am maybe?  I don’t know.  She goes to bed and I am sitting out there smoking my last cigarette when my phone goes off.

"Been waiting to hear from you."

"I was just about to text you"

We go on to talk about phone sex and nudie pictures.  NONE OF WHICH HAPPENED!  Please, I dont need to send that shit out and about for the world to see.  Does he think I am an idiot!?  I might have been born at night, but it wasn’t last night and I have some shred of dignity!  (Although it's fringed and frayed).

We went to talk for another day and a half.. Some of it was definitely provocative and he wants to hang out when I get home.  So now, I was talking to Finny about this and I told her that he was coming to Turducken with me.  She said, "awesome!  Sexy time or no sexy time?"

"No sexy time until after Turducken is over!"

"Why?"

"What if he’s bad?  I don’t want to have to sit through a meal with him and all my friends and that weirdness"

"Well, things could be worse, I guess."

"Says the person getting laid every night.  I’m currently on the path

to re-virgination!"

"Ohhh that could be fun!"

"Or not."

"Well, fun for him."

"Ugh, I have to fucking shave."

I need input here!  I am right, right, when I say that there should be no sexy time until after Turducken (mid November) for the sake of saving face?  Right?  But I know myself!  I can’t hang out with a prospect and not experiment!  Damn!