People

            It’s really a wondrous thing.  People.  I typically go out every night and have a few drinks with some friends, usually they’re different friends every night.  But tonight I happened upon Cheese, Thad, and Leigh. 

            Leigh is good friends with Guy #1.  And as much as it kills me to rant on about that fucking idiot, I cant help but let it happen.  I don’t know what it is about that motherfucker, but I can’t help but harp on him.  I also don’t know if its one of those things where he was the first guy I slept with after the breakup but it doesn’t even matter because I know the truth, which he doesn’t know, nor does anyone else know.  I have had a crush on him since last summer when I first met him. We were both in relationships at the time and I don’t know, we just hit it off. 

            So here I sit, drunk, wondering what the fuck went wrong in the friendship/fucking-ship to make him not to want to even be my friend anymore.  I don’t think I got too weird for him.  Granted he knew about my feelings and I knew about his being that we talked about it one day.  It happened to be the day that we decided to take things slowly and he didn’t talk to me for 3 days leading me onto this fucking date with the “Swamp People” guy.  (No, not someone from the actually swamp, refer to blogs). 

            I get home after a few hours at the bar with my friends and I get a message from Leigh.  He is a friend of ours and he met us out at the Watering Hole. He asks me if I wanted to go back out.  I said shit no, I didn’t want to go anywhere.

            Now, let me just throw this out there; I don’t know whats been going on with me lately.  I feel like I have been suffocating in this shit hole town.  I feel as though I am kind of sinking into a depression and it’s not good.  Lets think about this; in a month and a half my grandmother dies, I get laid off, one of my best friends dies, and then I get dumped at the funeral in a fucking note.  Now, my car is a piece of shit, my dad is on my ass about every little thing that I do.  I am going to have to move home where there is NO room for me.  And I am just having a problem with everything that’s afore mentioned.  It fucking sucks being in this situation.           

            So anyways, I am sitting on the couch bull shitting with Leigh about some things, and I tell him straight up that I am having a hard time.  He is one of my good friends at this point; I have known him for the better part of 8/9 years.  I tell him I don’t like being alone and that his friends are gaping ass holes (Guy #1).  He says he knows he’s an ass hole (hahaha) and then he goes on to tell me that he knows 4 guys that would love to be with me.

            HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE.

            4 guys that would ‘fight’ for me?!  And I am just learning of this now!?  Does he have any idea I write a sex blog?!  (Actually, no, none of my guy friend knows about this sex blog… the girls do, but the guys would judge the shit out of me.  Thad may even disembowel me).  Does he know that I use men strictly for sex and the bite their heads off, like a praying mantis?!  Does he know that my sex blog is dry because, of you know, you need to actually have sex to fucking write about it!?  God damnit Leigh!  God damnit!

            “You know 4 people, and I am just hearing about this?  Who are they?”

            He names 4 guys he works with.

            “I don’t even know them!  They have never seen me!”

            “They’re some guys from work.  But they’re no good for you, they’re man whores.”

            Ummmm… hello!  I love a good man whore.  I mean I kind of am the female version of a man whore.  (Does that make me a regular whore?  I am not a whore; I just like sex…  a lot… with anyone… whatever.)

            “And they’re willing to fight for me.  They don’t even know me.”

            “Yea, in case you haven’t looked in the mirror lately, your super hot.”

            That wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear, but Ok.  So these people don’t want to actually meet me for me, they think I am ‘hot’ so they want to see me naked.  (Don’t get me wrong, I am down for that, but I do have some standards, I am going to have to see them first HAHAHA).

            Now all I have to do is actually meet them and decide which one is going to be the next victim.  Not going to lie, if they’re ugly I am not going there.  That is wrong, and I may be shooting myself in the foot Karma-wise, but I have standards.  Low ones, but they still exist.