I
decided to call him out on his texts, as they were all the time and I was
wondering what it was exactly that he wanted from me. I mean, for me casual sex is the thing to do at the moment,
however, I am not opposed to something more with him. But that is neither here nor there at this juncture.
“Here
is a question for you. If your
away on a man trip, why do you text me? Aww, do you miss me? HAHA.”
“Of
course I do. These dudes have tits
but they don’t compare to yours!”
“Cute.”
“HAHA”
“You’re
too cute! I didn’t know you missed
me so much!”
“Oh,
so you don’t miss me?”
“Maybe
I do, maybe I don’t.”
“HAHA”
“Whats
funny?”
“You.”
“Why
me? It’s your fault. You seduced me.”
“Hahahahaha
wtf? I was pleasantly stunned you
kissed me that night.”
“Right.”
“I
didn’t think I had a chance so I didn’t bother Haha.”
Isn’t
that the biggest load of crap ever read?
Like it was me that was asking to come over for naked naps and talking
all this ‘I miss you’ stuff. Nope,
it wasn’t, but like an idiot, I went along with it and liked it and wanted more
of it. He is a drug to me. I am a junkie for him. And that was a problem.
A
problem because I knew I couldn’t get involved with him. He always told me he was not the
marrying kind or the having kids kind.
Why would I want to be with someone that doesn’t want anything that I
want? I did that, for five years,
and see how well that went!? I
thought it would be best for me to kind of squash it before it went too
far. I know myself, I know what I
want. I want someone who is going
to love me, or like me a lot, and want a family with me, and get married. I knew he wasn’t that person. But, I went back. Again and again.
I
decided that after about a week of doing this dance that we should probably
cool things down and whatnot due to the face that my mother told me that,
“those boys are nothing but pigs and they will fuck anyone. They come in here and tell all their
disgusting stories about the girls they bang. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love those boys, but they’re
not for you.” And I think she was
onto us. She couldn’t be onto us.
I
went to the house and we talked about things and we decided it would be best
for both of us to slow it down.
Now, at this point I am absolutely crushing on him, and I know I can’t
have a crush on him for the reasons I listed prior. We parted ways, as he was going to work and I was going out
with my friends. I’m not going to
lie; I was a little upset about it because after a breakup like I had, I had
felt rejected again. So I decided to say fuck it and go out with other people.
Later
that week I called up a guy I had met out at the bar and asked him if he was
still up for those drinks he had asked me about before. We set up a date and I was ready to
roll.
This
guy was younger than me. He had a
good job and a house and all the toys he wanted and that was good and
wonderful. But his actions were
absurd. He drove to fast, talked
too much shit, and had nothing productive to say that interested me in the slightest. Not to mention we went to Buffalo Wild
Wings for dinner. (No offense to
the Buffalo Wild Wings people, but god damnit, when I go out on a date I don’t
want to eat chicken wings and drink their beer).
But
did I go home with him anyways?
Yes, yes I did. And why did
I do that? Why wouldn’t I do
that? I mean, I might as well right?
Welp,
when I got there… He wasn’t there.
As in, he is not rising to the occasion. That was interesting.
So, whatever. I asked him
to take me home and he threw a hissy fit about it. I mean really!?
A hissy fit? You’re 25
years old and throwing a fit because I am now asking you to take me home. I am so not into it and I just want to
go home and shower and go to bed.
I’m sorry but Swamp People is not exactly a turn on for me, and
apparently, it was not a turn on for him either. (Laughing inner monologue now… devilishly).
Now,
wouldn’t you know, that after about 3 days of not speaking to the first one, I
get home and have a message from him asking me what I am up to. I figured I might as well tell him the
truth.
“Oh,
nothing. Just getting in from a
date.”
“A
DATE?!”
“Yea,
a date. I have had better dates,
but whatever. What are you doing?”
Now,
I don’t get anything back from him immediately. I lay down to try to get some sleep and I get a phone call
from him. I look at my phone and I
am kind of in shock by the fact that he has now called me after hearing about
my “non-date”. What came through
the phone was kind of startling.
“What
do you mean you went on a date? Is
this why we had the slow it down conversation the other day? So you could go out on dates?”
Whoa.
“No,
that’s not why we decided to slow it down. You know the reasons why. Where are you?”
“I’m
at the bar right now. I’m talking
to my friend. I can’t believe you
went out on a date. What are you
doing tomorrow? I have to go
though. Ill call you tomorrow.”
Now,
I am floored. I don’t know what is
going on, but I think I am a little flattered by the fact that I now know he is
unnerved by my date. (Insert evil
laugh here). Whats interesting to
me is being on par with slowing things down, then me going on a date and he
gets bent about it. Muahaha, I
think I have got him right where I want him now. I now know he is digging me more than he lets on. I mean really, who gets upset when
their “strictly fuck buddy” goes out on a date? Apparently mine does.
The
texts didn’t stop for the rest of the night. He proceeded to tell me how wonderful I am, and that he
missed me (smiley face with blowing a kiss), and p.s. I’m the best.
Well
duh! I am the best, and you knew
this, and you should just accept it.
Once
again, the next morning, I get texts from him asking me what I was doing and if
I was interested in coming over to hang out for a little while. I told him I was having a lunch date
with one of my friends. And
immediately, he was like ‘another date?’
Little did he know my lunch date was with my best friend, who is in fact
a woman!
I
told him I would call him when I was done eating and he seemed to be into that.
I
met up with my best friend at a little dive hole in town that serves awesome
burritos. And I sat down to tell
her all about what has been going on in my life for the last few weeks. She laughed at me and said it was
awesome. And she decided that I
should go for the older one because the younger one is a toolbox. Not to mention the older one has an
awesome job with bennies and he doesn’t have a problem getting it up when its
time to go.
Just
as a side note, that’s pathetic.
For a twenty something to not be able to get it up after a few beers is
a little off putting. Not to
mention, I’m sorry, but I don’t need you trying to get it up by yanking on it
on my leg. That’s an absolute turn
off. Just thinking about that, I
want to vomit in my mouth. I think
I might just do that.
Moving
on.
So
now, here I am driving over to his house after my lunch date, and again, my car
radio is still dead because I am putting off the whole going out to buy the
parts to fix it. So I talk to
myself in the car while driving through town, “your disgusting. Booty call whore. This cant go well. Fuck it. (head in hands) Pathetic.”
I
pull into the driveway and he comes out to greet me which always go this way;
big hug, kiss on the cheek, little ass grab. No big deal.
We
go outside and sit on his porch, smoke a few cigarettes and I tell him how I
was sent to the principals office the day before (yes, as a 27 year old I was
sent to the office after a child I work with complained to her parents about
me.
“Do
you need me to make it better?”
Provocative.
“How
are you going to do that?”
“Come
over here and Ill show you…”
Again,
provocative. And I dig it. Now all I can do is stare at his lips
again. Which are full and
beautiful. And very kissable. I cant help but wonder what on earth he
is going to do to make it all better for me. But I am down for the knowledge. (Insert smiley face here).
I
stand up and walk over to stand between his legs and ask him, “so?”
He
pulls me down into his lap and were off.
“I cant wait anymore.”
That little make out session lasts for about 34 seconds
before he stands up, throws me over his shoulder and carries me into the
bedroom. I feel like a
ragdoll. But it was a serious turn
on.
There
we go again. There was no room for
foreplay. Well maybe a little bit,
and I will say that it was amazing.
I am almost positive I met Jesus Christ. He was a vision.
When
we were done, we went back outside.
He cracks open a beer, and again the conversation ensues.
“Going
on a hot date tonight?”
I
laughed at him and said no. But I
did have a potential date later in the week. He shook his head and laughed at me. (At this point I figure I can just make
up these ‘dates’ and he will react the same way; jealous. Which turns into amazing afternoon sex
sessions. I’m down for that.
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